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Jun 5, 2021 · This is the ultimate list of the funniest dirty jokes, puns, one-liners and pick up lines you will love. There a few SFW picks included as well! Here's 30 of the best action hero one liners of all time: endlessly quotable quotes that sum up the movies they are from and the people that are saying them. 1. John McClane "Yippee Ki Yay motherf***er" Bruce Willis, Die Hard. 2. King Leonidas "This is Sparta!" Gerard Butler, 300. 3. Harry Callahan "You've got to ask yourself one question: …And they cry because there’s no trifle left.”. “I don’t like meals for one. It’s not that they make me feel lonely. It’s that they’re not big enough.”. “The annoying thing about ...Apr 20, 2021 · Funny One Liners “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they open their mouths.” “I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus, a slice of lemon. And a shot of tequila.” “I don’t have a beer gut. I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.”… Jul 5, 2017 · Free Funny and Witty Ecard: 50 Hilarious Dirty One Liner Jokes List

Aug 30, 2023 · An Irishman and his son walk into a zoo. One of the signs says, “Feed the elephant a bun to get your age.”. The little boy gives the elephant a bun and it stomps its foot 6 times. “Wow,” says the boy, “That’s right I am 6, you have a go dad!”. The Irish chap gives the elephant a bun. A moment later the elephant farts and stomps twice.Oct 20, 2017 · The topic for this week’s collection of puns and one liners is cat jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…. I spotted a lion at the zoo the other day. He looks like a leopard now. Lost money playing poker with one of the big cats at the zoo. Think he was a cheetah. Went for dinner with the zoo animals the ...Aug 21, 2018 · Via Giphy. "Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor." — Psychological_Ring. These funny one-liners, shared by the Reddit community, are perfect for sharing at parties.

One liner tags: attitude, rude, sarcastic, work. 82.36 % / 358 votes. I'm not saying your perfume is too strong. I'm just saying the canary was alive before you got here. One liner tags: animal, death, rude, sarcastic. 82.16 % / 1633 votes. The only thing more important than your happiness is mine so get on it.

A cliché is just one way to make an impact with an expression. These "busier than a" sayings can be overused, or maybe you have never heard of them before. Some of the humorous phrases listed below will help to bring a bit of laughter to your day. #1 an ant at a family reunion picnic. #2 a moth in a sweater closet. #3 a bee in a flower farm. #4 Walmart on Black Friday. #5 Times Square on New ... Ancient proverb say. “Never bait trap with wolf to catch wolf.” (Shadows Over Chinatown) Ancient proverb say, “One small wind can raise much dust.” (Dark Alibi) …Softball One Liner Jokes. “Why was the softball team so good at math? Because they knew how to use a diamond!”. “What do you call a softball team that sings? Pitch Perfect!”. “Why did the softball player bring string to the game? To tie the score!”. “What’s a softball player’s favorite type of party? A pitch-in!”.May 19, 2023 · This is one of the most iconic of all the classic cowboy one-liners. It speaks to the idea that quick thinking is generally more effective than slow thinking. “Never let your mouth write a check your backside can’t cash.”. This is another classic cowboy saying that speaks to being careful with your words and actions.

Naughty Valentines Day Jokes. “I like your style, I like your class, but most of all I like your a$$”. “Guys are like Roses, Roses are red, Violets are blue, My knickers get w*t, Just thinking of you.”. “Hey, it beats folding laundry. You’re my favorite thing to do on Valentine’s Day.”. “Suds are so sexy.

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One touch and I melt.”. “You never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.”. “S*x is like snow. Didn’t get any again this year.”. I hope these dirty jokes on winter are a fun activity with your girlfriend, boyfriend, crush, or partner. Moreover, check out these jokes, memes, or riddles on food ...Bridget Christie: “Feminism is not a fad. It’s not like Angry Birds. Although it does involve a lot of angry birds. Bad example.”. Because we couldn’t just choose one from these power-packed episodes, we want you to enjoy full albums of one-liners here: 23. Anthony Jeselnik: here. 24. Nick Thune: here.50 best Frankie Boyle jokes: funniest quips and one-liners from the Glaswegian comedian. Top flight footballer dead at 19. 30 injured in horror smash. Boy found dead at bottom of cliffs. 'Smiling ...My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch, it might be me. One liner tags: attitude, puns, sarcastic, work. 83.20 % / 529 votes. I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver. One liner tags: attitude, car, work. 82.77 % / 706 votes. A man approached me today and said "I am harder than you, I am better than you, I am faster than you, I am stronger than you." What a Daft Punk. Score: 5. Superman: "I'm faster than a speeding bullet, and more powerful than a locomotive" Batman: "I fight a penguin and a really persistent clown". Score: 4. Nowadays, legs spread quicker than rumors. Women and rocks are very much alike … We skip the flat ones. I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind. Don’t call the world dirty because you forgot to clean your glasses. I sent an angel to watch over you last night but he came back saying he can’t watch porn.Self-employed. #10. If a threesome is with three people and a twosome with two, do you now understand why people call you ‘handsome’. #11. An elderly couple was attending a church service. The lady turned towards her husband and said ‘‘I just let out a really long silent fart.

"lost faster than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest" "out like a boner in sweatpants" "kicks like a bag of ninjas" Archived post. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. "lost faster than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest" "out like a boner in sweatpants" "kicks like a bag of ninjas" Archived post. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. 12 Dirty One-Liners, First Edition. Check these out, or fold the laundry. Better yet, check these out while folding the laundry!Jokes On Us is all about th...Shaft. Image via Complex Original. 21. “Don’t let your mouth get your ass in trouble.”. Courtesy of: John Shaft (Richard Roundtree) in Shaft (1971) We shouldn’t have to tell you this, but ...Score: 5. A man approached me today and said "I am harder than you, I am better than you, I am faster than you, I am stronger than you." What a Daft Punk. Score: 5. Superman: "I'm faster than a …Dec 16, 2016 · The saying “carpets get dirty quicker once they have been cleaned” is a old wives tail, of sorts! Unfortunately this saying has derived from a number of issues over the years, so is more a misinformed statement. Many people that say this have had a bad experience which is why they say it in the first place they are trying to help you. So ...I’ve caught myself using this one. When I was younger I used to have no problem subbing curse words for things like gosh and darn. But as an adult when I’m in a conversation and trying not to cuss, for some reason those basic substitutions escape me and I start using my grandma’s curses.

Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - No votes and 2 commentsIt’s older than the Sydney Opera House, my penis!”. – Rhod Gilbert. “I accidentally filled the Escort with diesel. She died.”. – Gary Delaney. “I’ve never laughed a woman in to bed ...

Dirty One Liners. Joke Generator. If you want it dirty and fast... You've come to the right place. We've got it all, from dirty knock knock jokes to dirty puns and much more! …May 29, 2023 · Kit Kat – “Have a break, have a Kit Kat.”. Kit Kat’s famous tagline is instantly recognizable and has been used in countless ads and marketing campaigns. The one-liner pun makes a simple suggestion – take a break – and associates it with the pleasure of eating a Kit Kat. McDonald’s – “I’m lovin’ it.”. Dirty One Liners. Joke Generator. If you want it dirty and fast... You've come to the right place. We've got it all, from dirty knock knock jokes to dirty puns and much more! …Oct 22, 2023 · Funny Golf One-Liners. Golfers always carry two pairs of pants, in case they get a hole in one. It takes fore golfers to change a lightbulb. Golf is what you play when you’re too out of shape to play softball. Your backswing’s great, shame about the follow-through. Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles. I’ve got more slices than a ...1. Play With Puns. Puns are the playground of one-liners, where words with double meanings can lead to unexpected, often hilarious interpretations. A well-placed pun can …Jun 5, 2021 · This is the ultimate list of the funniest dirty jokes, puns, one-liners and pick up lines you will love. There a few SFW picks included as well! To fill the void collectively left by The Raid: Redemption, John Carter, and Wrath Of The Titans, we’ve assembled a collection of The 25 Best One-Liners In Action …

Jul 23, 2019 · Think of it as Seinfeld versus Chapelle: Both are funny, but only one comedian can play in the background while your 10-year-old is still awake. With that in mind, here are 76 super corny one-liners for kids that get to the punchline as quickly as possible. If one doesn’t land, just move on to the next one because that’s the beauty of the ...

Dec 24, 2022 · Please come again! ***. Life is like a pen*s: women can make it hard in an instant. A worm crawls out of a pile of spaghetti and says: “Damn, that was one hell of a gang bang!”. A wife asks her husband: “How many women have you ever slept with?”. The husband responds: “One, two, three, four, you, five, six… six total”.

Think of it as Seinfeld versus Chapelle: Both are funny, but only one comedian can play in the background while your 10-year-old is still awake. With that in mind, here are 76 super corny one-liners for kids that get to the punchline as quickly as possible. If one doesn’t land, just move on to the next one because that’s the beauty of the ...Basically, due to being so short, these jokes are very universal and can be used in a variety of circumstances (appropriate ones, of course) and ways. #4. The problem isn’t that obesity runs in your family. It’s …Jun 16, 2023 · One-Liner Jokes. 21. Russian dolls are so full of themselves. 22. The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing someone’s cast. 23. Light travels faster than sound, which is ... 1. I asked the IT guy, “How do you make a Motherboard?” He said, “I tell her about my job.” 2. The inventor of the throat lozenge died last month. There was no coffin …Introduction. Ever wondered how comedians can get a room erupting in laughter with just a single line? That's the power of a well-crafted one-liner. Let's dive …50 Hilarious Dirty One Liner Jokes List. Posted July 5, 2017 by wititudes. Next → . Posted in: Jokes, Lists Did you enjoy this? → . Next →. Search for: Recent Posts. …One-liner puns can be a powerful tool to grab attention and make a lasting impression. Here are five examples of how one-liner puns have been used to create memorable ads, slogans, and marketing campaigns: Kit Kat – “Have a break, have a Kit Kat.”. Kit Kat’s famous tagline is instantly recognizable and has been …Nov 5, 2021 · 27. You can’t believe everything you hear—but you can repeat it. 28. There’s a lot to be said in his favor, but it’s not nearly as interesting. 29. They’ve been treating me like one of ... Are you planning to build a beautiful pond in your garden? One of the essential components you will need is a high-quality pond liner. The right pond liner will not only ensure tha...50 Hilarious Dirty One Liner Jokes List. Posted July 5, 2017 by wititudes. Next → . Posted in: Jokes, Lists Did you enjoy this? → . Next →. Search for: Recent Posts. …Add the bed. Subtract the clothes. Divide the legs and pray you don't multiply. There once was a monarch named Ed. Who screwed Mrs. Simpson in bed. As they bounced up and down, He yelled, "Bugger the Crown! We'll give it to Bertie, instead!" A guy goes to the supermarket one day.

Victory Liner is one of the most trusted and popular bus companies in the Philippines, known for its reliable and comfortable transportation services. With the advancement of techn...Aug 20, 2023 · I have a huge collection of most offensive one liners jokes and Dirty one liners. It makes you laugh. “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they open their mouths.”. “I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus, a slice of lemon. And a shot of tequila.”. “I don’t have a beer gut. Sophia: "Yeah, open to everyone, day or night." Rose: "Well, I'm here if you want to pick my brain." Dorothy: "Rose, honey. Maybe we should leave it alone and let it heal." Also, not a one liner but the scene where Dorothy is describing the paper bird she had as a child and how Sophia used it to light a fire kills me every time 😂.Instagram:https://instagram. rat rods for sale in mainetaylor swift logo 1989stocktwits jdstpromo code mackspw Nov 5, 2021 · 27. You can’t believe everything you hear—but you can repeat it. 28. There’s a lot to be said in his favor, but it’s not nearly as interesting. 29. They’ve been treating me like one of ... Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour. I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. taylor swift merch truck atlantachipotle mexican grill menu iPhone One Liners We live in a world where losing your iPhone is more dramatic than losing your virginity. You traded in your iPhone 4s for an extra half inch? Hope your girlfriend doesn't do the same. My boyfriend is like an iPhone 5s. I don't have an iPhone 5s. Dear Internet advertisements, no I don't want to shoot the birds to win an iPad or ... ct route 9 accident Jul 11, 2023 · A fish swam into a concrete wall, Dam! Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic. The guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda was lucky it was a soft drink. The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell prize. Aug 21, 2018 · Via Giphy. "Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor." — Psychological_Ring. These funny one-liners, shared by the Reddit community, are perfect for sharing at parties.It’s colder than a cast iron toilet on the shady side of an iceberg. It’s colder than a stepmother’s kiss. It’s colder than a mother-in-law’s kiss out there. It’s colder than my ex-wife’s heart. It’s colder than elf nuts outside. It’s colder than Thatcher’s heart out there. It’s colder than a polar bear’s toe nails.